Heart Attack
by RachaelLovatic
Summary: a story about demi's struggles after rehab. WARNING! CAN BE VERY TRIGGERING FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EATING DISORDERS OR SELF HARM ADDICTIONS. Read with discretion. For the record i am a #Lovatic and if you think this story goes too far, i'm sorry but i have similar issues and this is a good way to cope.
1. Heart Attack

Heart Attack

_So I'm putting my defenses up, cause I don't wanna fall in love, if I ever did that, I think I'd have a Heart Attack…_

"I wanna take this time to really thank you guys for everything that you've suck by me through. And not only have a lot of fans out here, but there are so many of you that are my friends, I don't even consider you fans because of how much you've stuck by my side throughout everything that I've been through and um every time I perform, I perform onstage with a purpose, and that purpose is to reach out to somebody that struggled with the same issues that I struggled with. Whether that's an eating disorder, cutting, drugs and alcohol. Whatever it is, I'm living proof today that you can get through it. And you can sing on stage and play music for so many people. But most importantly, that you can make it out alive, and you deserve happiness and that life is worth it."

~Demi~

What the hell was I thinking? That speech was so unrehearsed so spontaneous, but most of all, a Lie. How can I be the role model they really need when I'm secretly opening my skin every time I get the chance? My 'One Year Sober' should be happening in a couple weeks. I've been lying to my friends and family for almost a year. 'Yeah, im fine. X Factor wont put pressure.' BULLSHIT! That's all my words are now. That's all I am now. I feel so… ashamed..

Demi continued to rage on at her apartment till all went black.

~Demi~

*Wakes up* "What the fuck? Why am I in my backyard? What happened last night?"

**FLASHBACK**

"YOUR HOPELESS DEMI, HOPELESS! TRY SHOWING YOUR NEW SCARS AND SEE WHO IS STILL BY YOUR SIDE!" The voices in my head became louder. Then shouting. I touched my ears to make sure they weren't running with blood, which wouldn't have bothered me. Suddenly the voices were screaming bloody murder, using every damn cell in my lungs to scorch these ideas on to my brain stem. "GO TO THE BATHROOM, NOW!" I ignored for as long as I could. I felt as if I was being dragged to this hell-on-earth. I fell to my knees, sobbing uncontrollably. I suddenly wished that I had removed my make-up prior. I could feel the mascara running down my neck, sticking to it as if an industrial adhesive. My lips were now stained black in patterns of thin, uneven streaks. My throat began to burn, as a fire in the depths of hell. It used to burn frequently when I first began purging. Why is it burning now? I don't even have the toilet seat up yet. I heard the slam of the fine porcelain lid smack the back of the latrine. I had one hand hold my hair back as if it were in a sloppy pony. The other one was inching its way to my mouth. I stopped for a brief second to think of Maddie, what would she think if she saw me? It was too late. My dinner was already out of my system. I thought of how much it hurt, to get rid of it all. How it hurt to know I was lying to everybody: Dallas, Mom, Dad, My Friends, My Lovatics oh God would they understand? Most importantly, Madison. I don't want her to think this behavior is acceptable. I put my forehead against the sleek white ceramic rim, breathing heavily. I felt like I just ran a marathon. Hopefully lost enough weight as if I did. I stood up to go to my vanity. I wiped my face and washed my hand. My eyes were caught by movement. I looked in its direction, just a mirror. It was me. I sat there, in my plaid shirt from the GYHAB music video, and some navy blue sweats. I looked intensely. I was repulsive. How could I look like this, do things like that, and still have people who care? Impossible. Nobody cares, nobody. Suddenly I recalled a whisper. Voices. "You piece of shit, bet you couldn't inspire a star to shine. You know what you have to do, don't make us say it D, JUST DO IT." I couldn't. not tonight, I have an interview in Singapore, I won't heal by then. "DO IT YOU LITTLE BITCH, CANT BE SKINNY, CANT BE BEAUTIFUL, CANT EVEN PUT A SMALL ASS RAZOR TO YOUR SKIN! WHAT A FREAKING PUSSY YOU ARE! YOUR TOO WEAK, ONLY THE STRONG CAN DEAL WITH THAT SORT OF PAIN! WHAT ARE YOU? A DAMN SINGER.. EXACTLY!" I looked down, and I saw the ink on my arm. Stay Strong . I am Strong.


	2. Guess Who

I begin to tear up my cabinet, looking for a razor or just anything sharp at this point. I see the light reflect off this piece of broken metal. I grab it with no hesitation. I sit down on the edge of the bathtub, contemplating whether or not I should follow through. I decide to follow my demons orders. I grasp this piece of steel and glide it into the crease of my elbow. I followed it through a second time. A third. Fourth. Fifth. Sixth. I threw the debris at the oak door, and it instantly shattered. Suddenly I heard footsteps, walking but with a fast pace, as if they were in a hurry. Who the hell is in my house? The door jolted as if we just experienced an earthquake. I yelped in fear of being murdered.

"Who is it?" there was no answer.

"Hello?" still no reply.

The door rocked again, this time it opened but not with ease.

"WHO IS THERE?" I screamed obviously impatient with this faggots' silly game. If they were going to kill me I wanted it done quickly. I put my head down so they wouldn't see my last expression.

"Demi…" spoken with a voice of pity, a soft but masculine voice, a voice all too familiar. I kept my head down, beginning to sob I didn't want him to notice. I knew him, but I couldn't match his voice to a face yet.

"Dear, are you alright? I'm going to go get the first aid kid, don't leave! Promise me!" my head shrunk down further. "DEMI LOOK AT ME!"

Dear God, it was Joe. My jaw dropped slightly. He still hadn't returned the key I gave him while we were dating. I looked deep into his eyes. They read pain and worry, maybe even love, but that's the last of my worries.

"Demi, promise you won't run out, I'm staying here 'till I get a word out of you!"

The only words I could get out under my tears were, "I Promise."

"Good, there's no way I'm leaving your side now!" I heard his footsteps leave the room.

What did he mean by 'not leaving my side now'? He had known about my issues, that why he left, intimidation.

He quickly returned and caressed my arm. He looked up at me, I avoided his face, knowing if I looked I'd fall into his spell, yet allowing him to heal me.

"You went pretty deep. I don't like seeing you like this Dem."

"As if you ever gave a damn!" I retorted

"Demi, I never meant to make you think that I left because of this," he applied some Neosporin to the wound and began wrapping it. "I was just really focused on my career, and I didn't want to leave you feeling neglected."

"Well, you did! Do you know what hell I went through? The man I loved more than anything didn't accept me, didn't want to see me, and ignored every form of communication from me! Not only did I lose a great potential husband because of my conditions, but I lost one of my closest friends." I couldn't help the tears that were falling. They were running down faster than the new blood I just shed. "Why are you here anyway?"

"Well, I had forgotten that I had your key, and I wanted to surprise you, in a goofy way. Then I heard something shatter. I thought someone was breaking in. I unlocked the door hoping to kill some random criminal for trashing your place, but instead a piece of that metal slid under the door. I heard you breathing kind of heavily, so I tried to open the door."

"How come you didn't answer when I called out?"

"Because I knew how furious you would be, so I figured I might as well see for myself. And I'm damn glad that I did."

"So now you're going to go tell the press right? That 'Demi Lovato' has relapsed!" I used air quotes, thinking that that name had so much meaning behind it.

"I'm doing exactly the opposite." he did a heavy exhale.

"And what is 'the opposite'?" I used the air quotes again.

Joe smiled; he knew that was a sign that I was semi-comfortable. "Never leaving you again, I can't have you think this anymore."

And suddenly all I could see was black.


	3. One Hour Later

One Hour Later

My eyes were having trouble opening. It felt like my eyelids were glued to one another. I eventually broke the seal, noticing nothing stopping me from opening the portals to my soul. Maybe I just needed sleep so bad, I didn't want to wake. But wait, I don't remember going to bed? I sit up and find myself under the soft white comforter on top of my queen mattress. How the hell did I get here? The last thing I remember is seeing Joe. Oh, how I missed his company. I would never admit it to his face, but my body language should be obvious. I couldn't afford to think off task right now

What was the last thing I remember?

"Never leaving you again, I can't have you think this anymore." Words softly spoken by Joe. What was my reply?

"SHIT!" I yelped out loud, remembering every detail of what followed. I pasted out. In front of Joe. The only guy that I ever considered getting engaged to. So maybe he brought me to bed? I just want to know where my Prince Charming is.

Once the words Prince Charming came across my mind all I could think about was Sonny With A Chance. My favorite sketch besides the Check It Out Girls was The Real Princesses Of New Jersey.

"My name may be short, but im livin' LARGGE" I used my out-of-date New Jersey accent aloud.

Instantly the Holiday sketch played in my head.

"Snowy the house looks BEAUTIFUUL" Tiffany spoke it so well it almost didn't feel like acting

"Thanks, All right listen, we all got Christmas balls we gotta get to, so lets make with the gifts!" Looking back, I felt like I belonged on The Shore

"Oh what's the hurry?" I still couldn't comprehend how mature Allison always was.

"Oh well you know they say someday my prince will come? Well mine's coming in 10 minutes!"

I lost the episode for a minute, thinking about Joe in the Holiday special.

"ARE YOU TIRED OF ALL THOSE BORING EXERCISE ROUTINES? YAWNING AT YOGA, AGGRAVATED WITH AREOBICS, SLEEPING AT SPINNING CLASS? WELL GET READY TO ROCK IT OUT WITH JOE-NASTICS!" The only sketch that I didn't have to practice, it came natural. Just knowing that Joe would be right there. No matter what they put me in, I didn't care; As long as I was with him.

One night out of nowhere, Joe does the Microponas Jonas Dip during his sneeze. "Check 1, Check 2, Check 3!" He immediately got the reference and we acted it out for all of our friends. During the final taping, I couldn't help but notice how often he stared at me. I believe it was 6 after all the editing was done.

I couldn't do this anymore, laying bed and reminiscing about Joe and I's past. I flung the warm sheets over to the right side of the bed. My feet touched the soft white shag carpeting wishing never to leave their embrace. I walked towards the kitchen, knowing I had to eat something. I felt so much regret after what I did yesterday, I had to redeem myself. What should I eat? I literally tore my oak pantry apart looking for something to satisfy my unknown food craving.


	4. A Beautiful Strong Blonde Angel

**A BEAUTIFUL STRONG BLOND ANGEL**

I hear keys ringing, thinking its Joe I approach the door to open it for him. I open the door and find a little 9 year old girl with dirty blonde hair braided in pig tails trying to sell Girl Scout Cookies. Thin Mints were my weakness. I bought three boxes and gave the girl a couple extra dollars.

"You gave me two more dollars than I needed ma'am." Her eyes met mine and she suddenly knew who I was. "Don't lie to me ma'am, but are you THEE Demi Lovato? Like off of Camp Rock?"

A slight chuckle left my mouth. "I know who she is, no need to specify what she's off of!"

"But are you her?" she was a persistent little thing, I'll give her that. I really didn't feel like taking pictures right now.

"Yes, I am Demi Lovato, The girl from the Camp Rock movies." I couldn't help but smile, knowing Camp Rock is still what I'm most known for.

"Can I have your Autograph? Please?" this little girl was so adorable how could I refuse.

"Sure! I think I have some pictures left over from meet and greets that I can sign. Come on in!" her eyes lit up as she dashed inside. Her facial expressions were filled with awe as she did not know how fancy this apartment complex was.

"Make yourself at home, let me go find a good picture!" I saw her make a beeline for my white couch, she sat in one spot and dared not to touch a thing of mine. I already had pictures printed out with the Heart Attack cover art on it. I grabbed one and sat on the couch next to her.

"So what's your name sweetheart?" it had been so long since I said sweetheart.

"It's Mitchie, just like off of Camp Rock! I know it's weird, but I didn't choose it." For a 9 year old she wanted to talk a lot!

"No, it's pretty cool! So Mitchie, what do you like to do in your spare time?" for once, I was the interviewer.

"I like to listen to music, walk my dog Anna, and visit my sister."

I finished signing my picture when she said 'Visit my sister'.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" I said as to ignore her hobbies.

"I want to be a dancer, but not Hip-hop, Contemporary, like my sister!" before I could ask, Mitchie stood up and began twirling around the room like a ballerina. It was the most precious thing I had seen in a while, and it kills me to say that Mitchie is a more talented dancer than me.

"So why do you visit your sister? Is she old like me and lives kinda far?" I used the simplest words my mouth could form.

"No, She'll be 17 next month." Concern fell on the Angels face.

"Then where do you visit her at?"

"She's lived in a Treatment Center since she first turned 15." Tears began spilling out of her eyes, almost like a broken fountain. I ran to the bathroom, grabbed the box of tissues, and returned. She didn't hesitate to grab one and put it to her eyes.

"If you don't mind me asking, why is she there?"

Almost immediately she stopped bursting, "My sister, her name is Ryan, has had a lot of troubles,"

"Like what?" I wanted to do anything in my power to have Mitchie leave here with her best day ever. Hopefully a heart to heart will help.

"Well, basically she was addicted to pain, any type. She was Bulimic, Anorexic, pulled her hair out, and pricked herself with needles. You name a pain, she felt it. But when she was around 14 I remember she had a boyfriend, I think his name was David, but im not sure. Anyways, she had been most addicted and relied the most on cutting herself. Later on she told me it was just the quickest. She was bullied everyday throughout her school life. David was the only one who made her feel 'worthy'. One day David noticed the various cuts on Ryan while they were making out. HE. HIT. HER!"

Oceans of tears flooded her face, I brought her close to me, knowing that all she needed was a hug. She emptied herself almost to the point of dehydration.

She continued without me asking, "He hit her right across the face, because she cut herself. He told her not to do it again. But she did. So for like 6 months I think she was in an intense abusive relationship with deeper issues that he never knew about. Our parents aren't really observant. I mean heck! I came to an apartment complex all alone to deliver cookies! They never noticed her scars or bruises or her lack of eating. One day she forgot to lock the bathroom door."

Sniffles erupted from her nose. I handed her another tissue.

"I slowly opened the door not knowing if she was using the bathroom to take a bath or whatever. I saw her push her finger down and throw up. I remember standing there in shock. I don't think she heard me open the door over her now soft tears. I remember her laying down on the ground holding her stomach. Right when I was going to leave, I saw her pull out the steak knife from downstairs. She.. sheee…. She sliced her stomach!"

"Shhh, its okay. Shh, its okay darling." The only comforting words I could scramble together.

"The next day I went on the computers at school during lunch time and found a treatment center for my sister. I called them and asked them if they could stop by the following day to take her to get help. Once I got home, I noticed my sister head into the bathroom. I didn't dare bother her now knowing what she was doing. I went in her room, and grabbed 8 different outfits for her. I retreated to my bed room and assembled a wardrobe. The next day they came while Ryan was in the bathroom, again. I handed the bag to the nice pudgy fellow, Larry was his name I think. I told them to come it. They waited till Ryan was done and Larry grabbed her hand, not forcefully.

'WHO ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME? MITCHIE DO SOMETHING! MITCHIE!' Ryan's screams still echo into my soul.

"Mitchie, you can stop." Tears were falling off my face as well. Being able to see what my sister must have felt when she saw me being taken away, not even sure what for.

"No, I must finish. So once they strapped her in, I sat in the van next to her. She looked at me with disgust.

'WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?'

'Ryan, you are going to a treatment center.'

'Like Demi?'

'Yup'

'Why?'

'Because you need help and I can't stand to see you suffer.'

"I remember Ryan sobbing so hard she couldn't breathe. She pulled me in for a hug and whispered Thank You into my ears as Larry took me out of the van."

"So… sh.. she's been.. been in treatment.. for like.. like 3 years?" I was trying to hold back my tears as not to provoke Mitchie to have a nervous breakdown over her sisters experiences.

"Yeah.." she said it without a tear in her eye, perhaps she cried them all out.

"Why did you feel the need to share that story?"

"Because even thought my sister still needs help, so do you."

"What do you mean?"

"I already noticed the cut on your elbow, and it doesn't look accidental. I thought you would need to have some encouragement, knowing you're not the only one."


	5. A Big Promise

**A Big Promise**

I tried to grasp the words that just jumped off her lips.

"No, it's a burn from curling my hair this morning! Don't be silly Mitchie!"

I got up as fast as I could and went in my room. I had to find a better excuse than a damn burn. Who was I kidding? It's defiantly a cut. Why am I hiding it from her? She knows a lot about it. I grab a sleeping shirt so it didn't seem like my leaving had no purpose.

"Here! Your very own worn Demi Tee! I'll sign it if you want to!"

"Demi, I know it's not a burn.." Silence fell upon us like a blanket. I had no words to say, because she was right.

"Okay it's a cut. Only one though."

"But it looks pretty deep, have you cleaned it and put some Neosporin on it today?"

That's when the door opens.

"Hi, sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

Joe. That would be him, thinking he owns MY apartment. But he being here is just enough. I get straight to it.

"Joe, when I pasted out, did you properly clean my wound?"

"Um what wound?" He was such a good liar I almost fell for it.

"Her name's Mitchie, and she saw and her sister has similar problems. She asked me a question about it, so I don't know what you did when I passed out." I waited for his response.

"Well," He began, "First I freaked out a little, but then I realized you past out from the blood loss. So I cleaned you up, and carried you to your bed. You woke up, but actually went to sleep. I went out to buy food and make you a nice late lunch." I see him holding a bag of miscellaneous ingredients, knowing that he cared to some extent.

"So do you feel better now?" Mitchie asked trying to be ever so helpful.

Yes, I did. Something about this girl reminded me of someone, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Yes, thank you! So I have a question, is your sister a fan of mine?"

"YES! VERY MUCH SO! Skyscraper got her through a lot of things." Her eagerness was cuter than a puppy.

"Well if you give me the address to the treatment center I'll go see her! And maybe you too!"

Her eyes were shining like diamonds, I brought joy to her, and she did to me. She made me want to become a mother, but that can wait.

"Okay hold on!" she went to my kitchen, and grabbed a scratch piece of paper as if she lived there. She wrote it down fast, so I'm guessing others have had to know about it. I didn't want others to know about my treatment, would Ryan be mad if she saw me?

"HERE!" In her face, were so many emotions: happy, thrilled, and relieved.

The treatment center was about 27 miles from where my apartment was, and I told Mitchie that I'll be there in two days. She took some autographed clothes, pictures, and selfies of us with her and her cookies.


	6. A Second Chance

**A Second Chance**

I could feel His eyes burning at the back of my skull. Why was he intensely staring at me? All of a sudden, I turn around, and I'm confronted.

"Why?" the tone was so bland in his voice, I couldn't tell if it was even real.

"Why what, Joe?" I honestly didn't see a problem with it.

"Why would you do that to yourself?" he almost looked choked up.

"Joe, just spit it out, I can't read minds!" I was tired of waiting for his response.

"Why would you go to a treatment center to talk to a girl with similar issues, when yours aren't completely under control as well? Dem, I don't want it to bring up any bad thoughts of before." For the first time since our breakup, I looked into Joe's eyes and smiled. Not my usual smile. A big smile. Ear to ear. "Why are you so happy? This is serious! I don't want you to relapse like you did earlier! Dem, I care about your well-being." I was exploding inside. Joe finally showed me some emotion. I just wanted him near me.

"Joe, come here you've been standing this whole time." He left the groceries in the kitchen and sat beside me on the couch. "I'm glad that you care, but I think that I can really help Ryan. If she's been there for 3 years, there must be something that's not letting her move forward. Maybe seeing someone who went through it and still struggles will let her know she's not alone." Mitchie popped into my head. She told me about Ryan for that same purpose. All I'm doing is returning the favor.

"I know, but I don't want you to get stressed out trying to be perfect for Ryan. You're already perfect to me."

My big smile returned again, and I saw Joe looking away, as if he didn't just give me the best compliment ever.

I grabbed his chin and positioned it in front of mine. "You make me perfect."

I pushed my lips against his, loving the warmth that came from his mouth. I pulled away before I lost control. I had a sweet smirk on my face, like a school girl with her first kiss. I grabbed his hand and intertwined it with my own. Joe's eyes met mine. We were thinking the same thing, for once.

He leaned forward, and gave me a gentle kiss, not aggressive at all. I kissed him back; I've never wanted him more. Our lips were in perfect sync. His tongue entered my portal, it made me want him even more. Our tongues were gliding against each other evort-lessly. His lips were so moist I couldn't contain myself. I started to tilt back, encouraging him to continue. He kissed me more passionately. His hands were running through my long brown hair. I wanted him closer. I put my hands around his neck gently pulling him in. he let go of my head resting it on a white lace pillow on the couch. I could see he was uncomfortable; I spread my legs so he could have a place to put his legs. He went back in, and didn't want it to end. I ran my fingers through his hair, his hair was always so soft. I grasped it hard, as he kissed me harder and harder. His lips left mine, slowly he was going toward my neck. I wanted him so bad, but I knew what this would lead to. Before I could stop him, a slight moan left my mouth. Before another could come I practically shouted, "JOE!"

"What, am I hurting you? Just let me know." The same smile stretched across my face again. How was he making it appear?

"No, im fine. But what about your ring JJ? I know how important that is to you." He looked saddened.

"Yeah, it's important, but your more important. Demetria, I want you to be my first." He only called me Demetria once before.

On the set of Camp Rock. I remember we hadn't before. I knew him, but he didn't know me. He was notified by the director that my name's Demetria. He walked up to me ever so smoothly, "Hey Demetria, I'm Joe and I'm really pumped to be working with you! So where are you from?"

"Ha, I know who you are Mister Joe Jonas! I'm from Texas, but who told you I was Demetria?"

"The director, why is it wrong?"

"Ha no its not wrong, I just go by Demi!"

"Oh well I'll remember that! *bell rings* Well Demi we better get on set!"

"Demetria?" I was wondering why he referred to me as Demetria and not Demi.

"That's your name, and I wouldn't take off my ring for Demi. I would take it off for Demetria Devonne Lovato. The way you've always been, not how others see."

A tear started to drip down the side of my face, so much has happened today.

"Dem, I didn't mean to make you cry! It's okay if you're not ready!"

I wiped it away and sniffles were in my nose. "I'm not ready Joe."

Joe's head rested on my chest, with a large exhale from his mouth, I knew he was slightly disappointed.

"I'm sorry, I just don't wanna battle that right now." I really didn't wanna think about Joe giving it up for Demetria Devonne Lovato.

He sat up, but didn't leave me cold like he would have before. My knees were still bent, he put his hand on one, and moved his hand side to side. I sat upright like him, curling my legs under one another, and I turned on the TV to some reality show.

Everything Joe said and did earlier finally sunk in. he was there when I relapsed. He was there to make me food. He was there to make me feel comfortable on set. He was there to show he cared. He was there to show his love. He was there to comfort me. He was there when no one else was. So why was I so mad at him?

Water started erupting from my eyes, uncontrollably. It was one of those cries where you almost can't breathe because your crying so hard. Joe pulled me in onto his chest, stroking my hair and holding me tightly.

My sniffles were affecting my speech, "…. I'm…So…. Sorry… Joe.."

"Shh," he started to rock slightly, "Sorry for what Demi?"

I wiped my tears on his navy blue tee, I could feel his muscles, not even flexing. I took some deep breathes and prepared myself, "I've treated you like crap!" I shouted into his rock solid chest, my emotions were so raw at the moment. "YOU'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT NICE TO ME, AND IM BEING A TOTAL BITCH! I DON'T DESERVE YOU JOE! WHY DO YOU KEEP COMING BACK TO ME? IM SO MESSED UP, HOW COULD YOU WANT ME? I COULDN'T EVEN HOLD BACK MY TEARS WHEN YOU SAID MY NAME!" I sat up and grabbed his hands and looked him in the eyes. "Joe, I'm sorry I ignored all your texts, and I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier today, I've realized how lucky I am to have you in my life and I don't want to lose you again! Could you ever forgive me Joe?" I've never cried so much in my life. I just wanted him to know I cared as much as him. My voice was getting heavy, and harder to speak. I started to choke on my tears.

Joe patted my back to assist me.

"Demi, you say nothing that wouldn't make me change my mind about you. You're so beautiful, and talented, and you wear your heart on your sleeve. And if anyone doesn't deserve somebody, I don't deserve you. You're so strong, and that's sexier than any bikini. You shared your story with everyone, and came back better than ever! I'm the lucky one. So I'm willing to give us a second chance if you are."

Joe stood up and held his hand out. I still had my sniffles, but my hand met his and it pulled me up. We stood there holding hands, looking into each other's eyes, both smiling. I looked down with my grin, excited that he was mine again. He lifted my head towards his and kissed me softly. It was short, but filled with more compassion than any Nicolas Sparks novel. I put my arms around his neck, squeezing him tightly. His when around my waist, he picked me up and twirled me around. I yelped in surprise. He set me down, and gazed into my eyes.

"So it that's a yes, Miss Lovato?" Joe was giggling as he spoke it.

"It's a definite yes!" my laugh followed, as I grabbed the back of his head because I needed one more kiss. Joe laughed during the kiss.

"Hah, what is it?"

"I'm just so happy I have you again."

"Awe, JJ!"

"Hey, let's be teenagers again!" Joe said with a smirk on his face.

Before I could ask, I was being picked up sideways, like a bride, as he carried me outside onto the trampoline.

He laid next to me on the nylon material, looking up and the sun which was slightly setting. He grabbed my right hand and caressed his fingers against mine. He lifted my arm up, looking at my tattoo.

"Strong, that's what our relationship will be now. Almost as strong as you."

Joe brought my wrist to his mouth, and kissed my tattoo.


	7. Compromise

I look into his sparkling eyes, knowing he is speaking his mind.

"I can't be strong by myself, you know!"

"I'll always be here for you D. Even if you don't think so, I'll be there."

Joe knew all the things to say that would please me.

"So Joe, when I go to the treatment center, should I.." I couldn't even finish my sentence until Joe spoke up.

"Please don't go.."

"Joe, why are you so against me going? I'm going to be helping a girl! I'm not off at an amusement park or something!" as this flew off my tongue; I wanted nothing more than to be at Six Flags.

"Just don't go."

"But Joe I.."

"Don't." he dropped my hand and it bounced off the tramp. He exited quickly, without making a sound or looking over his shoulder.

Why was he against me going? Why couldn't he just come out and bluntly say why?

I was tossing ideas in my head.

Should I go talk to him?

Should I let him cool down?

Should I just give him a hug and tell him I'm fine?

Maybe it was because I'm a female, but I had the urge to confront him. I slid off the tramp and entered through the screen door. I saw Joe in the kitchen preparing the food he bought earlier. He was preparing 2 medium deli sandwiches; I was hoping one was for me because the turkey was torturing my nose.

I spoke in the most soft, comforting voice as possible, "Joe, after you're done I think we should talk." I couldn't count all the possibilities that his answer could be.

"Ok." Joe said without looking up from his master piece. As he finished the first sandwich, he put it on one of my porcelain plates and handed it to me. "Here, Queen D!" He said with a smile, which was a good sign.

"Only my fans call me that! Haha you don't have to!"

"I know!" a chuckle left his mouth.

We both made our way to the couch, and began watching Disney Channel, we loved to make fun of what it became. Some show about smart kids in high school was on, something about a farm. One of the characters said 'we need to talk'. At that moment I looked at Joe.

"I know, I know we gotta talk!"

"Well I just want to know what's up with you?" I wanted him to trust me with his feelings, the same way I do.

"I'm guessing you're talking about what happened out on the trampoline just now?"

"YES!" The eagerness left my soul.

"Well, this morning, what if I didn't have an urge to stop by? What would have happened?"

I remained silent, not knowing if it was rhetorical or not.

"I have to be there at your lows and high's. And if you leave, I won't be there if something does happen. I just want to protect you, and I bet Ryan's fine. She's at a treatment center not like she's at home doing it. I just don't want you to end up hurting yourself while you're there.."

"Joe I would never do that, especially at a TC."

"That's not what I mean; I mean I don't want you to leave with some of Ryan's baggage. She's gotta learn how to be strong, like you."

"Well if I DON'T go, I'm weak because I 'can't handle it'. But if I GO, I'm STRONGER than I was before!"

"Demi…"

A light bulb shone brightly in my noggin.

"COME WITH ME J J!" I had just found the greatest compromise! I get my beau to keep me company while I help the unfortunate.

He smiled, "I would be honored to accompany Queen D on this magnificent journey!"

My laugh escaped my mouth like a songbirds tunes. This caused Joe to have an uproar of laughter!

"Hey, wanna go back outside? Maybe actually USE the trampoline?" he was a little kid at heart, but how could you blame him.

"Ha sure!"

His hand searched for mine, we left the room swiftly, and darted for the bouncy platform. He took off his Nike's and I took off my pumps.

He got on first, and then he turned around to help me up (although I didn't need it). We jumped for about 30 minutes straight before I confessed on how tired I was. I got off and sat on one of the lawn chairs. Joe looked puzzled, he didn't know his next move.

"It's okay Hun, keep jumping!" just as I spoke it, he began exiting the bouncy contraption. "Joe, you could have stayed! I'm perfectly fine!" the same smile smacked itself on my face.

"I know but it's no fun without you." He looked down at me and his face kissed mine.

It was getting dark but I didn't care. I should have brought Joe inside to continue, but the fresh air had a certain element to it that made me want to stay. As his lips were distancing themselves from mine, he looked at me, biting his lip. I couldn't resist. I stood up to smack my lips against his, I figured he was begging me to get back on the tramp.

"Let's get crazy." Before I could fully understand what he meant I fell onto joe, he caught me like he expected it. After all I do tend to be clumsy. He lays me on the grass, so green and lush it almost looked fake. Joe got on top of me quickly.

A slight giggle left my mouth, "Joe what..?"

"Shh, Demi you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on"

A part of me wanted to cry inside but I held it all back, and before I could thank him, his lips were pounding against mine. I bring my hands around his neck, locking my fingers together. His hands are in the position for pushups on the sides of my head. His torso started to rest on mine. I bent my knees and allowed Joe's body some room to rest. I could feel his whole body, I never felt so close to him before. He unraveled my hair, gracefully grabbing a chunk and sliding it down my chest. Again he looked im my eyes and said "Beautiful." Our mouths met once again, occasionally with our tongues meeting. I could feel his hips ramming mine, I knew he wanted more but should I give it?

He leaned up and whipped off his shirt and said, "Jacob Black has nothing on this, hah!" I couldn't help but laugh! I didn't want to pause this moment, but I didn't know how far it was going to go. Joe went for my neck, my weakness. As he was using his soft lips I knew I wanted it, more than anything. He started to go down to my chest, kissing ever so slighty. He unbuttoned the first button with his teeth. I defiantly wanted him. I let out a small moan, wanting him to continue. He unbuttoned the rest regularly and I took it off myself. I lay there in the grass in my pink swirly bra, I expected no one to ever see it. he was kissing my stomach, as I was rubbing my hand through his hair, grasping it hard at times. He grabbed my waistband of my pants, and looked at me. He wanted permission. Even though no words were exchanged I found that so cute. I nodded, I laid my head down again, looking up at the stars, my heart was racing, I didn't know why it was going so fast. I could feel Joe unbuttoning the pants. Then unzipping. I lifted up my bum so he could take them off. I could barley do it though, I was getting weak in the bones, I didn't know what was happening. Joe was grabbing the pant legs and pulling them off.

I began to speak in a weak tone, "Joe, something's wrong.."

I could barely lift my head, I looked at him. He was holding my pants in his left hand, with his jaw dropped. He noticed I was shaky, but not how badly I was hurting. He kept staring at my underwear, i didn't care.

Finally Joe said, "Yeah, something is wrong Dem, I wasn't expecting this.."

I shift my eyes from him to my underwear.

"Demi are these new?"

I could see the scars all over my upper thighs, I was scanning my brain for a response but I was focusing on 2 things at once, my pain and Joe.

I Screamed, "JOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEE!" I saw his face fall into concern just before I passed out.


End file.
